It can creep in slowly, disguised as a friend, until it becomes your greatest enemy.
I know this because I’ve lived it – seven rehabs in seven years. From the outside, I was a high achiever. A-grade student. Captain of every team at school. A successful dental surgeon. A beautiful home and a family are everything society tells you should equal happiness. But behind closed doors, I was battling alcohol, burnout, and crippling anxiety.
This is the story of how I rebuilt myself. How I put the broken pieces back together, not to hide them but to celebrate them – gold and all. This is how I found my sober sweet spot and found sobriety.
The Perfect Storm
I still remember standing on the steps of rehab in 2008, on what should have been a beautiful spring day. It was International Women’s Day, and the world seemed to be smiling around me. But inside, I was full of dread. A pending divorce, a drink-driving charge, a career in jeopardy, and worst of all – facing my two little boys after letting them down yet again.
The shame was insurmountable.
Looking back, the roots of my addiction were planted much earlier. As a child, I never felt like I belonged. I was the only Black girl in a middle school in Leeds, a square peg in a round hole. My name, Olubunmi, became the butt of every joke, and I longed for something simpler, something like Jane or Karen. I wanted to disappear, to be anyone but me.
When my dad sat me down and said, “This is your reality. You’re a Black woman in a white man’s world, and you’ll have to work ten times harder,” I took that to heart. Education became my armour, my escape, my validation. I became a high achiever. On paper, I was winning. Inside, I still didn’t feel good enough.
The library was my first comfort. I’d disappear into books, becoming the detective, the heroine, the damsel in distress – anyone but me. Then came food. Then, at age 12, alcohol. Just a small glass of Cinzano Bianco at Christmas, but it changed everything. The anxiety disappeared, the fear evaporated, and for the first time, I felt courageous. I didn’t know then that alcohol would become my greatest crutch—and my greatest downfall.
The Fall and the Turning Point
Addiction is insidious. At first, it feels like a gift – a way to cope, to numb, to escape. Then the wheels start to come off. For years, I lived a double life, hiding the drinking, reading every self-help book, going to therapy, and still finding myself back at square one. Relapsing again and again. Each time, I felt like more of a failure.
That spring day in 2008, I knew I needed something different. I was standing on the edge, and I couldn’t keep playing Russian roulette with my life.
That’s when a friend mentioned a shaman. I laughed at first. A shaman? Really? Coming from a medical background, science was my religion. But my friend urged me to keep an open mind, so I went. What did I have to lose?
I’ll never forget my fourth session with Anna, the shaman. I left with a feeling I’d never had before – a deep knowing that I was going to be okay. For the first time in my life, I felt a foundation beneath me, something solid. I couldn’t explain it, but I didn’t need to. I just knew.
Energy, Healing, and Reconnection
That moment with Anna opened a door. I became insatiably curious about energy work, holistic addiction recovery, and ancient healing practices. Reiki, ancestral healing, and spiritual response therapy – modalities I’d once dismissed as “woo-woo” became my lifelines. The scientist in me was delighted to discover that modern research was starting to back these practices. It was as though science and spirituality had finally clicked into place for me, like a safe unlocking. Inside that safe was my recovery.
It wasn’t about running anymore. It was about coming home – to myself, to my roots, to who I truly am. And that’s when I found a picture of my great-grandfather.
The Power of Returning Home
I was at my parents’ house when I stumbled upon an old sepia photo of a man I’d never seen before. My father told me, “That is your great-grandfather. We call him Father of Cows.”
My great-grandfather had been captured into slavery from his village in Abeokuta, Nigeria. Against all odds, he made his way back home. Whether through escape or emancipation, he found his way back to his roots. Hearing that story broke me open. Tears rolled down my face as I realised the courage, resilience, and faith it must have taken for him to return home.
In that moment, I understood: my recovery was my return home. I was reconnecting with myself, picking up the lost pieces of who I was, and putting them back together.
It reminded me of the Japanese art of Kintsugi, a beautiful metaphor for healing brokenness and embracing imperfections where broken pots are repaired with gold. The cracks become part of the beauty, celebrated rather than hidden. My brokenness was not something to be ashamed of. It was something to embrace. The pieces of me that I had hidden – the shame, the vulnerability, the parts I thought made me weak, were the very things that made me whole again.
Addiction: An Energetic Disruption
What I’ve learned is this: addiction is an energetic disruption, a misalignment that requires addiction recovery solutions and mind-body alignment. It’s a misalignment of mind, body, spirit, and energy. No amount of willpower, accolades, or external success can fill that void. True recovery happens when we start to realign. When we reconnect with ourselves, with our energy, and with our roots.
For me, that alignment started with energy work. It became the foundation that allowed me to rebuild. Relationships started to heal, trust began to grow, and I finally felt like me.
Finding Your Sober Sweet Spot
If you’re struggling, know this: there is a way out. Your recovery may look different from mine, but the key is to reconnect. To put the pieces back together. To embrace your story, your cracks, and your wholeness.
You are not broken. You are not beyond repair.
Like my great-grandfather, you have the courage and resilience to find your way home. And when you do, life will meet you there.
To hear more of my story and learn how you can align your energy for lasting recovery, tune in to ‘Your Sober Sweet Spot’ the podcast. Let’s walk this journey together.
