Finding your why – a deeply personal, compelling vision of your future that keeps you grounded and focused on your sober journey – can really transform your recovery journey.
The Role of the Why in Recovery
When I first entered sobriety, I felt like a rabbit caught in headlights. Alcohol had been my closest companion, shaping how I lived and interacted with the world. It had consumed so much of my identity that I didn’t know who I was anymore. I lacked hobbies, meaningful relationships, and even a sense of what I liked or disliked.
In early sobriety, I was advised to find my why – the compelling reason to stay sober. Initially, I created lists: to be a better mum, to thrive in my career, to maintain my health. While these things were important, these goals felt surface-level. They weren’t enough to sustain me through the more challenging moments. I needed something deeper, something emotionally compelling.
Connecting with Your Future Self
The breakthrough came when I discovered the concept of the future self. Research shows that our brains struggle to connect with the future, focusing instead on immediate survival; however, building a vivid connection with your future self makes you more likely to make decisions that align with long-term well-being. Here’s how I brought this concept to life.
Write Your Future Story
One afternoon, I carved out time to write about my future as if I were already living it. I envisioned three years ahead: where I lived, who surrounded me, my hobbies, and my purpose. I described the tastes, smells, and emotions of that future. The act of putting it on paper made it feel real.
Daily Reinforcement
I condensed my story onto a single sheet of paper and read it every morning for 30 days. I spoke the words out loud, fully immersing myself in the vision. This daily practice helped ingrain the future I was working towards into my subconscious.
A Letter from the Future
After a month, I wrote a letter from my future self to my present self, expressing gratitude for the actions I had taken to create that future. This practice deepened my connection with the present and the future and gave me a sense of pride and determination.
The Science of Visualisation
By vividly imagining a desired outcome, you engage your brain’s reticular activating system (RAS), which filters information and highlights opportunities aligned with your goals. In fact, this tool is used by elite athletes and high performers to achieve their goals.
For example, if you’re dreaming of owning a new red car, you’ll suddenly start noticing them everywhere. The same principle applies to recovery: as you visualise a vibrant, sober life, your brain attests to opportunities and resources supporting your journey.
Making Your Why Work for You
Discovering your why isn’t a one-time activity. Your vision will evolve as you grow in recovery, and that’s okay. The key is to stay engaged, and you can do this by:
- Revisiting Your Vision: Update your story regularly to reflect your growth and changing aspirations.
- Celebrating Milestones: Recognise your progress towards your future vision, no matter how small.
- Staying Curious: Experiment with practices like writing, visualisation, or speaking your goals aloud to see what resonates most with you.
The Journey Never Ends
Recovery is not static; it’s an ongoing journey of self-discovery and growth. Seventeen years into sobriety, I still use these practices. Writing my future stories keeps me grounded and excited for what lies ahead.
By finding your why and nurturing it, you create a foundation for lasting change. So, what’s your why? Take the time to dream and explore, then write it down. Your future self will thank you for it.
Stay bold, stay curious, and build a life you’re excited about.
